My grandfather was a first generation Italian.  He was a man of intelligence and distinction.  He loved crossword puzzles, music, creating, and learning.  So much of who I am is because of him.

He and my grandmother were the ones who insisted we attend church when we lived on their side of the state.  I would visit during summers, hanging with them at the bowling alley or by the poolside.  I miss those summers almost as much as I miss my grandparents.  I can still remember the layout of their house, the Christmas presents and VH1 videos; the puzzles sitting on their porch table, waiting to be completed.  They were everything that grandparents should be.

When my grandmother passed away, my grandfather remarried shortly after.  He was already dealing with alzheimers at that point- at least the early stages.  The last gift he gave me was a fender “strat pack” for my 12th birthday.  I love that guitar so much… it got me through many difficulties and now resides in my apartment in MI.  He used to play guitar but gave us his flaminco when arthritus set in. 

Towards the end, he would ask the same questions several times in a conversation.  “Are you still playing guitar?”  “How is school going?”  It was hard to accept that alzheimers had claimed such a brilliant mind.  He ended up dying of lung cancer, although he had never smoked.  My grandmother’s addiction had killed him as well.

I have vowed never to pick up a cigarette.  Lung cancer claimed two of my favorite people- people who loved unconditionally and who made my family a family.  They opened my eyes to faith and to hope.  I cannot let go.

 Nelson S. Archetti, 88, of Bradenton, Fla., died September 12, 2005. Born on August 22, 1917, in Troy, N.Y., he moved to Bradenton, in 1979, from Roslyn, Pa. He served in the U.S. Coast Guard during World War II. He attended Saints Peter & Paul the Apostles Catholic Church and was a member of the Anna Maria Island Moose Lodge #2188. Survivors include his wife, Catherine Finn-Archetti; daughter, Linda Ruark, of Boynton Beach, Fla.; and two grandchildren, Ryan Ruark and Regina Ruark. Memorial mass is 2p.m., Friday, September 16, at Saints Peter & Paul the Apostles Catholic Church Chapel, 2850 75th Street West, Bradenton. Brown & Sons Funeral Homes 43rd Street Chapel in charge. Memorial donations may be made to a favorite charity.